Remedios' "How to Preserve a Husband"

Woman Connected to Recipe: Remedios Abinoja Yu

Submitted by Tracy Yu Stronsky (Remedios’ daughter)


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About Remedios:
All moms are special. My mom is special because of the tremendous amount of effort she puts into being a part of my life, and really not just me. She forges connections with all those she loves in the most special ways. My 11-year-old is an avid reader, and she reads the same books as her so she can discuss them with her. She trades recipes with me so we can share kitchen stories. She’s always checking in. She’s always present.

About Remedios’ “How to Preserve a Husband”:
It’s impossible for me to choose a recipe (ya know, one that produces actual food) that my mom has passed down to me, for two reasons.

First of all, my parents are from the Philippines. In the Philippines, they did not cook. They both grew up in households where there was a cook, or two, which is very commonplace.

When they came to the United States in 1971 they learned to cook together. They still cook together. Always.

Which brings me to reason number two. My parents are a cooking team. If my mom starts a dish, then my dad finishes it. I have never seen them cook solo. And, all their recipes are in their heads and in their hearts. They’re constantly evolving are impossible to write down.

Just today I was cooking a traditional Filipino dish called chicken adobo. I called them to confirm that the recipe I had clipped from a newspaper had their seal of approval. My dad spoke first and changed the ingredient amounts at least three times, noted that some ingredients were optional, and told me to “add a little water”. When I asked him how much was “a little“ he did not give me a straight answer. Then my mom chimed in only to change the ingredient amounts two more times. They both called me twice each to check on the progress of the chicken adobo. And when it was all said and done what did I learn… I needed to add more water.

This “recipe” was actually hand written by my mom and given to me on my wedding day (photo below). It’s the closest thing I’ll ever receive from my parents that constitutes a “recipe”.


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INSTRUCTIONS

Dear Trace,

Hi sweetheart, it’s me who care so much about you. That’s why I thought I’d send you this recipe - it’s from my cookbook. It’s unique but proven very effective. So here it is.

  1. First, use care and selection. Get one that is not too young, but tender and healthy. If you choose one recklessly it may not keep.

  2. Don’t put in hot water. This makes them turn sour. Sweeten with smiles and spice, with patience. All varieties will respond.

  3. To assure a wonderful consistency, stir gently, never beat. And don’t leave unattended for long periods of time.

  4. To add delicious flavor, sprinkle generously with praise and appreciation. The poorest specimen may be improved if you follow these instructions and will keep for an unlimited number of years in any climate.

  5. Remember: Frequent exposure to cold temperatures has been known to damage this dish permanently. Keep a small, steady flame going at all times.

Love,
Mom
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